I have spent a huge amount of time and energy over the past few years working on my mindset. Giving myself strategies to not just get through life but thrive.
It’s worked, really really really well.
And still, I have bad days. Off weeks.
They can still feel really difficult to get through. I’m coming out of one of those little slumps now. And I wanted to let you know two really important things that I’ve realized:
Everyone has bad days.
But have you ever really thought about this?
Do you think Oprah is just beaming positivity and deep insight 100% of the time? Nope. If you are in a constant state of happiness, you are the Dalai Lama maybe. You are an enlightened being. I don’t think that us everyday people are actually meant to feel good ALL the time. There’s something about the way that we’re designed that makes us appreciate the joy much more because we’ve experienced sadness, pain or discomfort. I’m not sure why we’re that way, but we are. And if you want to fight that, you’re in for a battle. Or you could embrace it, appreciate the contrast for what it is, and love yourself anyway.
Every struggle gets easier when you face it.
These days, I can step outside of myself and realize what’s happening. I can name it. I can sit in it, embrace it. That doesn't mean I want it, or that I feel glad that it’s there. But I can sit with whatever’s coming up and give myself the kind of compassion I would give one of my kids if they were having a bad day. So my point is, there is a way to have fewer bad days, and to manage the bad days in a much more positive way.
Around our house, we call that feeling of being off, “tough stuff”. When the kids are cranky, out-of-sorts or hyper-emotional, I just say “Are you having tough stuff?” and give them a hug or let them talk about whatever they want to talk about or just let them know I love them.
That’s the kind of compassion I’ve developed for myself. It’s about freakin’ time.
So the next time you’re struggling, if it’s for no reason or for lots of reasons, remember that Oprah might be struggling, too. Maybe Jennifer Aniston is having a bad day. Beyonce might be feeling more crab apple than Lemonade. And maybe I’m over here going “What the eff….”too.
But it can get easier, and that starts with compassion. How would you treat your kids if they were having a bad day? Do that for yourself. Find compassion. Give yourself grace. Relax. Breathe.
And remember that living a lit up life doesn’t mean you’re lit up every single second.